Life Lessons Don't Take a Vacation

Summer's over kids and your mom has taken quite a long break in her writing. I'm sorry for this.

With the change in our routine, the separation, and craziness; I've kept myself preoccupied and busy with various projects and new hobbies.

And in all honesty I'm coming off of a massive case of writer's block.

However, I learned something very valuable and as I lay here at nearly 10:30 at night, I can't seem to allow myself to sleep before getting it out. So here it goes.

Sometimes in life situations arise that test you. They test the goodness in you, my loves. A test that may seem easy when talked about, but proves to be so much harder when you are in the throes of it.

My resolve was tested this summer. In a way that I'm admittedly still struggling to come to terms with. Not because of regret, not because of anger, but because of genuine hurt and confusion.

It's led me to realize one major flaw of myself that I am learning to embrace. Sometimes things are better left to work themselves out. I am a person who more often than not, cannot leave unresolved issues lay. I try to hard to fix things and end up making a bigger mess than the one I started with. This time, I'm being good. I'm leaving it where it's at and letting fate take over.

I'm accepting the situation for what it appears to be and that's because of this important tidbit of information I'm about to pass on to you.

So without further ado...

Someday a person may come to you in their time of need. I'd like to hope at a moment like this that all you can think about is how much you genuinely care about this person. How much you love them from the depths of your soul. Without question you know that you will be there. You will help them. Even if it tests your patience, your sanity, and your ability to see past the flaws in yourself and them.

Sometimes you are put in the middle of someone's path for a reason. You may not understand why, but it is there, hidden just outside of view.

Sometimes these moments will give you (seemingly) nothing in return. Please, guys, listen to your mom when I say do it anyway.

Sometimes through your dedication this person gains so much more than they had. Even if your role is minute in their outcome, a piece nearly unrecognizable in the panaromic view of their life. Do it anyway.

Even when they walk away after and never speak to you again. Revisit why you said yes. Rethink the place you were in. The genuine love and desire to help and do it anyway.

Never second guess the role you play in someone else's life when the part your playing grows from the goodness in your heart. You cannot go wrong when you begin with pure intentions.

If events unfold and this person fades away, it's okay. You didn't get involved to reap the benefits. If you were expecting something in return then that is a reflection on your character, not theirs.

Find comfort in knowing that when someone needed you, you were there. There are so few people left in this world who think of others before themselves. Be the ones who do good solely because it is the right thing to do.

I promise you, you will love yourself so much more for it.

All of this can be said for people you don't know, too. Help that woman trying to console a screaming toddler who just dropped an entire bag of groceries on the parking lot pavement. Rush to open the door for the elderly couple barely standing upright with the support of their walkers. Stand up for that kid, that adult, that animal, being bullied.

Do it and you will feel your heart grow. You will sense a lightness in your step and your goodness will touch the lives of those fortunate enough to witness your act of selflessness.

It is so easy to give into comfort. So easy to turn your back on someone because it seems as if their drama; their problems; their situations will be an inconvenience to you. Don't be that person. Don't give into the negative kiddos. You are so much more than that.

I pray that I instill a compassion in you so big that it lights a fire under your ass anytime you see someone being selfish and cruel. I pray that I give you a good enough example of how a person with a good heart behaves that it touches the lives of every person you ever meet.

While you may have had a summer vacation, and I may have pretty much taken the summer off of writing for this blog. There is no vacation from truly learning all life has to offer. Lessons come at you at every turn. When the last thing you can think about doing is turning and welcoming these lessons with open arms.... Please. Do it anyway.

All my love,
Mama

Because How Much Grander Would Life Be if We Encouraged Everyone Around Us to Be Happy?

I don't  know about you, but I'm sick of the flood of judgements I'm faced with daily. They may not all be directed at me, but the negativity reaches far past the person that's being singled out. It settles over the people who read/hear/see it like a storm cloud. Raining on those who think differently. What happened to the golden rule? A small piece of wisdom our parents passed on to us as children that we've somehow forgotten as we've grown older. More than ever, I believe society needs to reflect on that small token of advice. If you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all.

It seems elementary for me to throw that out there, but I really believe some people are incapable of agreeing to disagree. They've made it their own personal mission to make everyone take their side. Here's a newsflash for you though: THERE ARE NO SIDES. No matter what you believe, we are all in this together. I am not in the habit of competing with anyone else. I want to live a long healthy and happy life and do the best that I can as a mother to ensure my children can as well. In the end, isn't that what we all want? Happiness.

Can we all come to a silent agreement that more often than not we settle for less than we deserve? Yes? Ok good. Friends, we really need to stop this. I won't judge the moments you aren't proud of. I won't run off and gossip about your failings as a parent, friend, or person. In fact, I'll let you in on a little secret.... most of those so called "failings" aren't failings at all. They're trial runs. They are those moments of learning you need to make you better. We all have them. We all make decisions we question, we regret, we deny. Every person I know. So I think it's safe to assume that goes for every person I don't know too.  We spend so much time getting hung up on these moments that we forget to see that glimmer of good shining through. It's there my friends. Hiding amongst the chaos. Well camouflaged so that only the ones truly seeking it out find its beautiful rays of hope. A promise that this isn't your life, but a tiny piece of the  puzzle that makes you, you.

So here's my heartfelt assurances to you my friends. I will not judge your beliefs, I'm so very glad that you have them. I will not judge your lifestyle choice. Gay, straight, Republican, Democrat, addict, doesn't matter one bit to me. I will not judge you as a parent, we are all doing the best that we can with what we have. I salute you for being there for your children. I will not judge your facebook posts, your crazy hairstyle choice, the color of your skin, your economic status, your education. I will not judge. We are imperfect. The way we are meant to be. I will not cram my God down your throat or pretend that my ways are the best ways. But, I'll be there to lend an ear when you feel like no one is listening. I'll be there to hold your hand when you're feeling afraid. I'll be there cheering you on as you take an unsure leap into your future. I'll be that voice when you feel like you can't speak. Friends, I'm here for you.

I'm beside you 100% of the way with my own insecurities, my own reservations, my own shortcomings. I question everything I do. I can't take compliments as much as I can't take criticism. I make mistakes every day. I'm not perfect as a mother or as a person. Some days I feel like I'm bat shit crazy. Some days I spend more time yelling than speaking. Some days I let my kids hang out in their pajamas all day. Some days I make macaroni and cheese and hot dogs and call it supper. Some days I can't make myself see past all the negative that surrounds me.

But, some days aren't every day.

You have to make it through the storm clouds to see the sunshine. Even on the days where you can no longer tell which are tears and which are raindrops.  That silver lining is hiding in there. Reminding us that every time we survive something that has hurt us we have just become a little more tough. A little more prepared. A little more grateful. Friends don't turn some days into every day. Don't let the harshness of society and it's ever-evolving need to judge, harden the softess of your heart. And on the days you find this impossible to do please remember me, cheering you on. We are in this life together. I want your happiness as much as my own. Because how much grander would life be if we encouraged everyone around us to be happy.

Spread kindness friends, not judgements.

Until next time,
Namaste~

Make It Count

I don't pretend that I have all the answers. Most days I'm at a loss for words so please don't read this thinking I'll be unveiling the how to's of life. All I know is that I'm determined to make this year a better year than last. I respect the hell out of all you avid resolutionaries. The ones who probably spend all of December going over their year. The ones who try to prep for what we have come to view as our blank slate period (aka January). I'm not one of those.

No matter the effort of trying that I put into it. The process becomes overstimulating for me and I get burnt out really quick. The anxiety I feel from reliving even the good moments of my previous year is enough to make me want to commit myself. Judge me as you will. I'm a spaz.
Moving on.


That doesn't mean that I don't set goals for myself. In years past I was all about the number of goals. I know. Silly and naive. No worries, I now focus on the quality.

I'm realistic.

365 days is a long period of time to commit to endeavors that you won't put your whole heart into. I don't like the idea of dooming myself before I even begin so I try to generate ideas that will grow me as a mother, wife, and person. This year my overall goal is to live in the moment.

There are few things that we can actually control in this life. Once we accept that life can become a lot easier for us. I've wasted way too much of my time stressing out over situations outside of my control. And even more over situations that hadn't and could very possibly NEVER happen. I dream of a year with less of this. Less anxiety. Less worry. More focus on the moment in time where I do have control. Control over my emotions. Over my choices. Over my actions.

I want to spend my year loving more and yelling less. Ok, look. I have five kids. My home is overflowing with love, but it is also overflowing with noise. Loud, unnerving hysteria that centers around the constant worrying of what someone else is doing. Unless of course "nobody" is doing it because obviously "nothing" is going on. (insert exaggerated eye roll). I will remind myself amidst all the chaos there is a magical world of childhood imagination that my kids have created. A world that I will visit more because my children won't be children for long. And I'm coming to grips with the realization that the more I yell the faster this life stage disappears. I'm not ready for that so I will make the conscience descion to be in the moment.

This year will be the year that I stop comparing my life to everyone else's and stop letting other people's assumptions affect how I feel about myself. No one's story is identical to mine so how can I expect to have the same pages? Our journeys are meant to be our own. We walk alongside one another for the company not for competition. We all need to spend less time judgine one another on how far we have or haven't come. I will remember that those who spend their life going through mine with a fine tooth comb are just looking for a distraction from their own problems. I will focus solely on those who enrich my life.

In closing, here's to making 2015 count. Stay present in all you do this year. Life is a gift and we are all struggling with our own issues, be kinder to those around you.


Namaste.