My Hope For You

In two short months three of my children will be celebrating birthdays. In three we will be adding our final family member. How is it possible to feel so much joy and sadness all at the same time?

Each year I notice more and more that time seems to be moving faster. Soon summer mornings will be filled with my voice urging you to get out of bed. Making breakfast will become a thing of the past since I'm sure I'll be lucky to have any of you up before noon.

Days spent annoyed because I'm answering a seemingly endless stream of questions will be filled with the longing of getting you to speak to me without an eye roll and a shrug of your shoulders. Dolls will be replaced with ipods; imaginary tea parties with bickering about your sisters not staying out of your clothes; legos with phones; and cartoons with music videos.

You are growing up my loves. More independent every day. Nap time has become chill time for all of you but one, and soon that peaceful quiet time of my day will be gone altogether. You'll want to leave to visit friends or to hang out at the park. My heart will ache and I'll hold back a tear for the babies who are long since grown.

With your advancing years will come new struggles and challenges. Both for you and for your father and me. Our parenting mottos will change and we'll have to scramble to figure out the new set of tears flowing down your sweet faces. We'll have to control our desire to deck the first boy or girl who breaks your heart. Or bite our tongues when we hear your anger at your current "bestie" because of the malicious and untrue rumors that they have started.

We will have to learn how to guide your self image so no matter what your peers say, you always see how beautiful and special that you are. Right now, my loves, you are still so young and impressionable. It pains me to admit how scared I am of the years to come.

How someone like me can raise you to be confident in your skin; respectful to all you encounter through life; and motivated to reach your fullest potential. Someone like me, who cared way too much about the opinions of others. Who ignored and disobeyed my own parents at every turn. Who never embraced the opportunities I had in front of me.

But, I carry on. I do it because I hope for you. I have hope that our constant reminders of your intelligence, your confidence, your beauty, your wonderful little hearts, will always be ringing in the back of your minds. When the doubters come to you. When you face the people who refuse to see what's inside of you. I have hope for you.

My hope for you will outlast my body kiddos. It'll be there when you are old and gray and having your own hope for your children. My hope for you will surround you on your worst days. When you can no longer hear my voice urging you on, you can read my words and feel them touch your heart.

My hope for you is never ending. My hope for you will endure even the darkest moments of your lives. The moments when your judgement lapses and you've hit rock bottom. My hope for you will help raise you up because you will know that I don't expect perfection. My hope for you is that you live your life always staying true to yourself. My hope for you is that you find your joy in life and ride it through the rest of your days.

My hope for you is to know that you will always be my babies. Even when your skin begins to wrinkle and your hair takes on a silvery hue. When your eyesight weakens and your body starts to give. My hope for you is you never forget you are the most beautiful gifts in my life.