Missing Our Sunshine

Disclaimer 01/26/2015:

Before anyone who is a friend or relative of Christin reads this post, I want to warn you that at the time this entry was made I had a very deep resentment towards her for what I feel is a justifiable reason. Looking back today my heart aches reading my own words. Please read with caution because I do not apologize for the way I felt when I wrote this. I considered editting it out, but I won't censor my own story no matter the irony of this post. 

Haven't posted in a while.  Life has been a little hectic for our family.  I have spent several weeks after my last post going to work and coming home and laying on the couch.  The first trimester of this pregnancy really kicked my ass. Things have slowly started calming down though.  Half way through my sixteenth week and feeling so much better. 
Unfortunately my plans for a home birth aren't going to work out the way I would've liked them to.  While I love my midwife and the idea of bringing our final addition in to the world in such a setting, my pocketbook has began feeling the pain of it.  So many things have came up since I first started paying her that it is to the point that I am just working to pay her and two other bills.  I can't stand being broke anymore, nor can I take the stress of arguing with the hubby over it. 
We went and toured one of the three hospitals in Des Moines yesterday.  For a hospital, it was beautiful.  We plan on taking a tour of the other two in the next couple of weeks while I have a few consultations with some other midwives in the area.  I'm just really hoping that everything works out for the best.  In the end all I want is a healthy baby, so I suppose it doesn't really matter where I have him/her.

Anyway.

Today we got a call from Alex's mother who was in hysterics because she went to Christin's.  Apparently, Christin took Aubrie and hid in the back of the trailer while Rayne proceeded to tell Paty that she didn't have to talk to her, nor did she have to let Aubrie see her.  Alex is in an uproar now because he is fed up with Rayne and Christin's bullshit.  He is taking the other three children to Ohio in a week and plans on rounding up his family to see if everyone can pitch in to help us pay for our lawyer. 
I've gone so far as to start looking up the prices of portable spy cameras with the thought that while he is in town he could stop by their house and see what he can get her to say.  Granted she's already dug herself a pretty deep hole, I'd like her to finish covering her own grave.  We really just want to see our sunshine again. 
I hope they both are enjoying the power they have right now because it's about to come to an end.  Alex and I have both decided that regardless if we end up with primary custody of her, he is petitioning for a no contact order on Rayne.  He may have been there for her since she was pregnant, but he is a low life and isn't good for either Aubrie or Christin.  We want what's best for that beautiful little girl, and that man is not.

I'm just ready for it to be over with. 
17 months and 9 days since we've been with her.
Our hearts ache at that thought.
We finally got to see a recent photo of her though. Not that it helped.

We miss you sunshine.... we will see you soon!