Why Size Really Doesn't Matter

My favorite mommy blogger has been known on several occasions to post that any amount of kids is a lot of kids. I couldn't agree more with this observation.

It seems like no matter how many children I have welcomed into this world, my hands have somehow always remained full. Each time I was convinced that I couldn't do it again, I have surprised myself with my flexibility.

I'm a part of a pregnancy group on Facebook and have repeatedly seen the conversation come up to whether or not the women in the group are finished after this baby, or if they plan to have more. It's pretty enlightening reading the comments about how many kids these families have and their reasoning behind being finished. Some moms are content with two, some are currently cooking number six and still remain undecided.

The biggest thing I commend these women on are their abilities to not look down their noses at the women who have accepted that they don't want a large family. The ones who have realized they are stretched thin enough with the one, two, or three that their family currently have.

Which brings me back to the statement that any amount of kids is in fact, a lot of kids.

With my personal circumstances I always knew I wanted a large family. Being around kids a lot in my youth I felt confident in my ability to maintain composure in the face of the chaos that comes with them. I have since learned that I am definitely equipped to handle the Brady Bunch of children I have, but maintaining composure is a feat that I need to cut myself some slack on. No parent is perfect and that's okay.

Truth is, my hands were full when it was just me and my son. I lost my cool a lot with his energetic self. He has a personality that is go, go, go all of the time. So I can completely understand those who have decided that their one child is enough for them.

My hands became slightly more full when my second daughter came. Her personality being the complete opposite of her big brother gave me confidence that maybe I was figuring this whole mom gig out better than originally thought.

Then naturally with each additional child I grew in my understanding of motherhood and realized how much each kid's individual personality affected that. I had my doubts about what I could handle, but for the most part believe I've done a pretty good job of rolling with the punches. I started to question if there ever would be a number that I would deem "too many" for our family.

I know scary thought right?

Well good news, this mother has definitely reached her limit. Not in the sense of finally realizing that there are too many to handle, but because I know how thin I can be stretched before my older children start to lose the individual attention that they deserve.

Every child deserves to feel special to their parents. They each deserve an equal amount of one on one time so they can create memories with their mom and their dad unique to that of their siblings. My younger children will never get what my oldest has. Four years of just him and me. Four years of creating a very special bond.

Six kids, is enough. Too many for some, too few for others. Determining which side you see for that is solely based on individual preferences and I, for one, celebrate that.

I will never be a mom who hears a mother of two (or even one) venting about the stressfulness of motherhood with a condescending stare down of "imagine having six." Mama... You do have your hands full and I'm here if you need an ear to let those frustrations out!

One person's struggle will always be another's walk in the park, but that doesn't mean that we should spend that stroll judging each other.

I sometimes see or hear comments made by mothers expressing how they just knew two children was the right amount for them. Being human, I get a fleeting feeling of self consciousness about what these women must think of a family like mine.

In reality, these women are doing what is best for their family, and their opinion holds no merit in what is best for mine. I wouldn't trade the blessing of my six children for any amount of sanity or free time in the world. They are worth it a million times over.

So, yes six kids is a lot of kids. But one, two, five, ten, nineteen are all a lot as well. Kids are the most (and best) work you'll ever put in in life. Embrace what you can handle and never let anyone make you feel like your hands aren't full. Household size is a subjective endeavor when discussing how many are too many. Stick with what works for you!